Russia's President and former KGB agent, Vladimir "Mr. Polonium" Putin has been on a roll lately. In the past several months, he has been accused of masterminding the death of a former KGB agent, he's told the Queen of England to stick her complaints up her royal behind and he has completed the trifecta by conquering Antarctica.

The Antarctica is rich in resources and the world simply can not allow this communist to declare it Russian territory. Worst of all, the Russians have even planted their ugly flag at the North Pole! I think I speak for all Canadians when I say, "Back off Rusky!"

We don't mind when we hear the old communist poke fun of England and their ridiculous "Queen". We don't mind when they take care of internal matters by assassinating their own people. But when they take aim at Santa's abode and the rich resources of Antartica, everyone at Harry Nads Headquarters begins to plan countermeasures.

First of all, from a purely psychological warfare perspective, we can not allow these communists (yes they are still commies!) to blatantly attack our children's sense of joy. Planting a flag at the North Pole signals their intent on spreading malicious propaganda aimed at Canadian children by claiming that Santa Clause is a Russian commie who spreads joy by "sharing" toys with children around the world. This will destroy the spirit of Christmas and also harm the commercialization of this great holiday.

The evil Russians are also attempting to scoop up all the rich resources which can be found in Antarctica. This is unacceptable. When Harry Nads becomes Prime Minister of Canada one of the first orders of business will be to send out a strong warning message to Russia by classifying them as a rogue state.

Until then, we must support neighbouring countries and demonize Russia for the evil commies that they are and for their attack on our children and future resources.

Update: I'm disappointed by some of the comments posted in response to this article (more on this later) and, although it shouldn't be necessary, I will make a few clarifications in an effort to erase any confusion some of you may have.

Update #2: Please read