Xenu has launched an attack against Germany by striking down 11 extras on the set of the upcoming movie called Valkyrie, which stars Scientology's very own Tom Cruise.

Germany has been waging war against the Church Cult of Scientology for years, going as far as hiring Russian mobsters to try to poison Tom Cruise, in an attempt to prevent him from finishing his latest movie. In response to Germany's attack on the poster boy of Scientology, Xenu struck back and launched thunderbolts from the sky (media reports have covered this up by claiming that the 11 victims fell off a truck) and nearly killed 11 German extras. Conveniently, Tom Cruise was not around when this occurred. Our sources tell us that he was nearby channeling Xenu and sending him the coordinates of the 11 German extras.

Harry Nads Headquarters believes that Scientologists should be classified as enemy combatants. They are dangerous individuals who are constantly scheming, conning people out of money and silencing their critics when they're not busy making cheesy hollywood movies.

Scientology is a threat to freedom and Canada should help Germany wipe Scientologists off the map. If that means coordinating with Russian mobsters to take out Tom Cruise then so be it. We must not allow these people to take over the world.