In a decision that sent shock waves through the mime artist community, The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that part of Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms was silly and decided that the right to silence is not guaranteed.

This ruling not only puts mimes on notice, it also shows the world that Canada is a force to be reckoned with. While the U.S. crafts laws which allow suspected terrorists to be tortured, Canada has thrown down the gauntlet and has basically stated that it has the right to interrogate mimes, mutes, quiet people and foreigners who can't speak a word of English. We'll even throw these people in jail before they get a chance to utter a single word. That's what we call a preemptive strike.

It seems that these days a lot of countries are flexing their muscles and acting like they own Canada's world. Hugo Chavez goes around calling George W. Bush the devil and kicks oil companies out of his country. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defies the world and continues on in his quest to obtain nuclear missles. George W. Bush talks about World War III and still acts as if his country is a superpower even though their dollar is now barely worth more than a Mexican peso.

This is our way of saying, "So you want to get crazy? Ok let's get crazy!" If you think you can commit a crime or even think about committing a crime and then fall back on the old "I have a right to remain silent" routine, you have another thing coming. If you think you can paint your face like a clown and stand beside a busy intersection, while moving your arms around and not talking, without getting arrested and pistol whipped you're crazier than you look.

Today, we've declared war on mimes, criminals, quiet people and foreigners who can't speak English. Our next step should be to target the Brits. Who do they think they are talking in those silly accents? The only things Britain has produced are soccer hoodlums and ugly women. Canada can accept that but we must draw a line when it comes to their accents.