Recently, TechCrunch published several top secret documents and racy screenshots that revealed Twitter's strategy to take over the Internet. These files were sent to Techcrunch by a hacker, who apparently was upset about not being able to post tweets that were more than 140 characters.

These documents revealed Twitter's strategy on a number of issues such as, API licensing, the pros and cons of being acquired by Google or Facebook, SEO strategies, happiness at their workplace and P. Diddy. Here are some excerpts from the documents:

"Diddy values his contribution higher than we do."
"Diddy not so strategic."
"It would be hard to explain to him what we would be doing wrong since he thinks about business differently."

Diddy was also referred to as a distraction and a huge pantywaist.

It's astonishing that Twitter doesn't seem to recognize Diddy's sheer brilliance, intellectual prowess and business savvy. Diddy is a classy artist who revolutionized the music industry. Droning on and on about how great Diddy is wouldn't do him justice, so I will post a number of his greatest quotes to illustrate just how foolish Twitter is for dissing this literary genius.

"I feel safe in white because, deep down inside, I'm an angel."
"Put the money on table and get your mack on, break it down, split it up, and get your math on." (Nads note: that shit even rhymes!)
"I am 100% innocent and the charges against me are 100% false." (Nads note: this is brilliant deductive reasoning... it should also be noted that he did not shoot the deputy.)
"I've got to take a break, to be honest. I'm not even going to lie."
"It feels like I could go outside with a bikini thong on right now." (Nads note: That's Diddy's way of announcing to the world that sometimes he feels a bit gay.)
"It's okay to be crazy, but don't be insane."

Twitter, you have some explaining to do. In Canada's view, you are 100% guilty and the charges against you (your crimes against Diddy!) are 100% true.

Related Links:
TechCrunch Publishes Top Secret Twitter Documents
P. Diddy Quotes
More P. Diddy Quotes