Terrorists are growing stronger every day as they continuously evolve and use technology to their advantage. The United States of America recognizes this threat and they've recently decided to begin monitoring massive multiplayer online games (MMPOG) such as World of Warcraft.

In World of Warcraft, players explore the landscape (possibly looking for soft targets), fight monsters (the terrorists refer to infidels as monsters), perform quests (missions of jihad) and interact with other players. It is believed that al qaeda has been quietly recruiting both assassins and young children, specifically the ones who are the most skilled (or 1337, which is the terrorist slang word) and have reached the godly status of Level 50 Paladin.

While the U.S.A. is closely monitoring World of Warcraft, Harry Nads Headquarters has been monitoring another MMPOG called Second Life. Our intelligence reports reveal that al qaeda will soon turn their attention to this game, especially if the U.S.A. finds and kills all of their World of Warcraft characters.

We decided to scope out and infiltrate various communities to see how successful we would be in converting seemingly normal, law abiding Christians into angry terrorists. We quickly uncovered an ugly underbelly in a cyber world full of glitz and glamor. One of our characters befriended a pimp, who was eager to acquire new "ho's".

Our cyber character was placed in a group (known as a ho train) and it was during this time that we befriended two other hookers, Melanie and Consuela. At first they didn't seem open to conducting terrorist acts, but once our character got them hooked on heroin they were more willing to kill innocent people.

The image below is a screen shot of a successful attempt to coerce a couple of hookers to bomb a synagogue. The next day Melanie and Consuela strapped bombs onto themselves and took out the biggest Synagogue in Second Life. Our character is the one on the right.

One of the most uplifting aspects of Second Life is the sense of community that's evident throughout this cyber world. God fearing Christians congregate and even attend bible classes on a regular basis. Our second character, Guadalupe, befriended a nice Christian girl who went by the name Bethany.

Week after week we would study the bible together and talk about life and we quickly discovered that we had a lot in common. Bethany was a fine person but unfortunately, we did not create these characters to make friends, we had a job to do. After about 2 months we decided that we had to test Bethany.

She was invited to an outdoors art show which displayed Christian art created by other Second Life characters (or players). At the end of the show, I showered her with compliments in order to distract her and when the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed her from behind.

The image below is a screen shot of our character (Guadalupe) attempting to persuade Bethany to renounce Christianity. The image shows our final attempt.

Bethany proved that her faith was strong but sadly, just like Wayne Brady, I was forced to choke a bitch. If Bethany would have been allowed to live she would have told the entire community that Guadalupe is an infidel.

In our undercover missions we proved that it is indeed necessary to monitor these online communities as nothing good can come from them. People who immerse themselves into these cyber worlds are prone to get hooked on drugs and become terrorists, or like Bethany they end up being killed for no good reason whatsoever.

The next time you're approached by a stranger, or even a close friend, and they ask you to bomb a synagogue or renounce your religion, think twice before you answer.