There's a large gang war happening in America between Wall Street and Main Street. Not since the Bloods Vs Crips rivalry has there been so much at stake. Each side is accusing the other of breaking street rules and making deals with the man in order to win the war.

Unlike the Bloods Vs Crips war, no one knows exactly when the Wall Street Vs Main Street war started, but we know it escalated a couple of years ago when several Main Street gang members took out mortgages they were unable to afford. The Wall Street gang accuses Main Street of purposely trying to bankrupt them by tricking Wall Street bankers/gang bangers into giving them mortgages, while Main Street accuses Wall Street of taking advantage of Main Street's lack of banking knowledge to exploit them.

Simon Walter Windham (AKA Swindling Simon) told Harry Nads Headquarters that Main Street should stop whining. "These lowlife miscreants have no business complaining about Wall Street's tactics. Did they think they could get away with defaulting on payments without facing severe repercussions?" , he said.

However, Main Street's very own Jake Smith sees things differently, saying "These motherfucking bankers are done. We're gonna cap all their asses next time we see them on the street. Don't matter what street neither. We stole their money fair and square and they break street rules by teaming up with the government. Fuck George Bush and fuck Wall Street. We'll get our money back."

When we asked Simon to comment on these threats from Main Street he said, "Their behaviour is outrageous. We didn't break the rules, the rules have changed. They failed to realize just how far we would go to win this war. They can threaten us all they want... these homeless people. First we foreclosed on their homes, next we will foreclose on their cardboard boxes, which they now use for shelter. We're lobbying the government to ban cardboard boxes. We'll see how they survive the winter without their shelter."

Jake Smith responded in a speech at a large gathering in West Philadelphia last night.

"Over the years, we have been watching you. Your campaigns of misinformation; suppression of dissent; your litigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye... oh wait... that's a speech for a different fight. Ok... here we go. Wall Street, you motherfucking no good, lousy snitches! Y'all fucked with Main Street for the last time.

You talk about taking our cardboard boxes. We'll suffocate you bastards with our cardboard boxes. We'll strike the government and when we're done with them, we'll take out al quaeda. Main Street is the past, present and future and your time is coming to an end."

While Americans are eager for this tumultuous financial recession to end, it seems that the war has just begun.

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